just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
