Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
