Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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