Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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