I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
