Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
