i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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