I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
