i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
