i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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