she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
