there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
