i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
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