we have officially lost it.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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