we're blogging at a bar
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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