you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
please come you make the beer taste better
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
