Having a random hookup so left but love u
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
