You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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