she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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