Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
