North Korea, Best Korea!
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
