I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
