What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
