I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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