she kept yelling 'call me bella'
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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