My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
FUCK WHALES
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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