It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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