If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
