your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
