I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
