I wish I only lived at night.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
