An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
