How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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