it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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