And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
