I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
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