Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
