Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
