do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
