ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
