i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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