I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
