it was like his penis was on wheels.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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