He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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