dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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