Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
