I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
