You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
