out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
