Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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