drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
