Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
