I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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