Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
