4 words: hood of his car
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
