i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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